| samantha | 18 |

a.s., baby, what did i do (via sincerelyhappines)

(Source: mossyribs, via dearrlulu)

You don’t miss me.
I should remember that.
I should fucking remember that.
Notes
21466
Posted
1 week ago
2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

(via dearrlulu)

Notes
439791
Posted
1 week ago

rumpledleathertrousers:

whitebeltwriter:

WHAT IS THIS BEAUTIFUL QUALITY

ELSA-VISION

THIS IS THE ONLY FUCKING FROZEN POST I WILL EVER REBLOG BECAUSE IT IS OBVIOUS THAT WHOMEVER MADE THESE GIFS SOLD THEIR SOUL TO SATAN

(Source: elsasexual, via dearrlulu)

Notes
288240
Posted
1 week ago
officialmadarauchiha:

I feel this on so many levels

officialmadarauchiha:

I feel this on so many levels

(Source: weababy, via dearrlulu)

Notes
53300
Posted
1 week ago

fasterfood:

people are always like “why do u look so emotionless when u walk through the hallways” at school but i dont understand what they expect me to do when i walk to class like am i supposed to smile and skip around tossing flowers to everyone i walk by?? 

(via dearrlulu)

Notes
214287
Posted
1 week ago
760mastermind:

Ride or Die Chick: Noun
A chick that ain’t afraid to be down with her man she’ll do anything her man needs her to do.

760mastermind:

Ride or Die Chick: Noun
A chick that ain’t afraid to be down with her man she’ll do anything her man needs her to do.

(via leslyyy)

Notes
41920
Posted
1 week ago
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